You know it's over....

.....when you pick up the phone at 2 am and dial your lifeline to sanity...but hang up before it rings.

Intimacy

"One thing I do know about intimacy is that there are certain natural laws which govern the sexual experience of two people, and that these laws cannot be budged any more than gravity can be negotiated with. To feel physically comfortable with someone else's body is not a decision you can make. It has very little to do with how two people think or act or talk or even look. The mysterious magnet is either there, buried somewhere deep behind the sternum, or it is not. When it isn't there (as I have learned in the past, with heartbreaking clarity) you can no more force it to exist than a surgeon can force a patient's body to accept a kidney from the wrong donor. My friend says it all comes down to one simple question: "Do you want your belly pressed against this person's belly forever --or not?"


-Extract from 'Eat,Pray,Love"

Transition

.

Some stories never end. They just change their genre.

.

Too much? Too bad.

.

There's a thing called "too many dreams".

That's where I'm at.

That's why I don't sleep.

.

Sick of love...

She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some people are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out—your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.

....

It's not cigarettes and booze, nor lung cancer or liver failure; it's worse. And there are no disclaimers or statutory warnings attached.


....

She.

Yesterday, I got a call telling me that my friend had passed away. A news casually slipped into the conversation.

She made me smile from inside everytime I laid my eyes on her. Last time I met her, she jumped with joy. She was happy then, I was happy for her.

But 3 days later...I grieve her. I pray that she and the seven others get peace wherever they are....She, the one with serene eyes and childlike soul.

.

It's cold. Inside Out.

.

9

.

In 9 years....
9 days.
9 days, again.

What I know is that I can trust his eyes because what lives in them, lives in me.

26.

I've reached the other side.

26 years have taught me that....sometimes skulls are thick....sometimes hearts are vacant....sometimes words don't work....but sometimes we smile and that makes it alright.

Dream shattered....

.
One phone call is all it took to bring Alice out of her dreamworld.

New Day

'Twas about all that jazz & more
Dilemmas & dire straits
Trippin' the light fantastic toe
In cacophony of the invisible
Jived all night
All nights.

As the trumpet flower blooms
Night changes to noon
Troupe recedes
Ocean fades
Snow dries up
Tonight, I dance alone.

Get on with it. NOW.

To hell with hating love
loving smiles
To hell with confusions
cherishing nights
To hell with the sprained neck
hurting knees
To hell with vacations
wanting relief
To hell with life
living it up

Get back to work.

.

Befriended
Understood
Left
Understood
Loved
Understood
Abandoned
Understood
Confused
Understood
Betrayed
Understood
Reloved
Undertsood
Lost
Understood
Bruised
Understood
Broken
Understood

Misunderstood
Understood.

As I chew over....

Driving to work today, I came across a scene today. I dare to call it a 'scene' because I slowed down for 10 seconds and drove on. Now I sit at my desk and wonder what else should/could I've done.

Traffic had slowed down at the stretch near Lado Sarai Petrol pump; all I could figure out during the 10 seconds when I pressed the brakes in my car and slowed down was this.....A group of people were standing around a body. Two were trying to revive him through CPR. Others were standing and looking. I remember thinking "Should I stop?" What would I do if I do stop? Someone, hopefully, must've called an ambulance. Someone, hopefully, would take him to the hospital. As I strained through the rear view and hoped to find a moving body, praying for God to help him, my colleague who'd seen it too broke the silence and said "I made burger yesterday.".

The Week After....

You wake up with a strange taste in your mouth
Empty bottles outside with rested tempest inside

You've been transported somehow

Spilled ash marks your track
You get up with a busy head, trying to make sense
Silence follows...then a smile...then silence.

The next day you wash it off
You go out to get fresh air into your lungs
To get fresh sights into your head
You bump into smiles and confusion, again.

For days, rain follows you wherever you go
And so does a confused smile.
You love rain
And you cherish the smile.

It comes and goes
As and when it pleases itself
Slowly dissolving into time

Aren't you glad you have a bad memory?
Aren't you glad you'll soon be forgetting everything?
Aren't you glad your conscience is clear?

Then, how come you're not smiling anymore?

Soulmate...

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."


*Eat,Pray,Love.

Q & A

Q. Love, do we find it or does it find us?

A. It finds us.

Q. What do you do when it does?

A. You duck and run.

I Hate Love.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love”.

- Neil Gaiman

A paradise lost...a paradise that once was.

As the world welcomed the birth of a new year.....a beautiful home, that once was, was up in flames....and no force could stop the havoc...till it was all over.

An era of a lifetime of happiness, sorrow, grief, celebrations.....
Memories of childhood, of youth....Of birth, of life, of death...
The woman's home, The man's kingdom, The kid's playground....

What I wouldn't give up...
To wake up in the morning and know it was just a nightmare.
What I wouldn't give up....
To hold the hands of those who suffer the heart wrenching grief...

The shattered dreams of a father,
The broken heart of a mother,
The devastated sons...
The ravaged kin.

The phoenix shall rise again from the ashes.

Hey!

Let's make this one count.

Adios My Friend....

End of an Year...End of an Era.