Un-Obit

A smile, a tear 
A warm embrace. 
Promise of a potential 
Then it breaks. 

A new world 
A rosy future. 
Snatched away in a heartbeat
Here's your empty picture. 

Fragile

"...to love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love."

10 easy steps for Closure (of any and every kind)

Step 1: Open all channels 

Step 2: Take the incoming punch

Step 3: Absorb 

Step 4: Take a deep breath 

Step 5: Let it be what it’s meant to be 

Step 6: Smile, send out love and happiness 

Step 7: Walk away; Turn the corner so you can’t be seen anymore 

Step 8: Stop and take a deep breath 

Step 9: Have a nervous breakdown because you hate yourself 

Step 10: Get up, dust off your knees, square your shoulders and walk into your hell.

October '18

Here's a bookmark on this week.  To remember. To remember how it feels when a tornado hits a volcano in a vacuum.

My darkest thoughts fail to compare to what has happened.

While I count minutes on one hand, there's a lifetime slipping by from the other.

Har ek baat pe kehte ho tum ki ‘tu kya hai’ ?
Tumheen kaho ki yeh andaaz-e-guftgoo kya hai ?

Ragon mein daurte phirne ke hum naheen qaayal.
Jab aankh hi se na tapka to phir lahoo kya hai ?

Jalaa hai jism jahaan dil bhee jal gaya hoga.
Kuredate ho jo ab raakh, justjoo kya hai ?

Losing a friend is never easy.

Dhanno...
14th January '98 - 24th July '11
You were one of those few who never let me down.

Thanks to the enormous beauty inside the tiny beast.

You made me a better person.

....Lines from The Mourning Bride..

Heav'n has no rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd. Nor Hell a fury, like a Woman scorn'd.

'Tis about time...

I don't want your Thank you...

I don't want your White flag.

I just want you to know that I'm over you...

And that's that.

The selfless becomes the selfish; the loved becomes the hated.

There's bereavement and despair everywhere.

Somewhere a soul is ripped out, it rebuts; pledges never to heal.

Sound of a breath; last gasp for air.

In a corner, the final drop is wiped off with a shaking hand.

Count of hurt reaches a tear; bleeds without a care.

The selfless becomes the selfish; the loved becomes the hated.

Dammit

I finally compared him with you. He passed, you failed. Bugger.

Another Day....

...I'm beginning to dread these festivals. There're certain things one tends to expect from these days and at the end of the day if someone asks "so, how was your holi/diwali/dussehra/christmas?" you end up saying "yeah well, it was cool/ok/fun/usual". Deep down inside there's a longing for the days when you were a kid. You didn't expect much from anything and still ended up getting a world of happiness out of a bucket of colorful water that stained your nails and inside of ears for the week to come.

Where is all that happiness? Where's the joy we got from one gujia? Where's the carefree soul that used to wander around in this room 10 years back?

You know it's over....

.....when you pick up the phone at 2 am and dial your lifeline to sanity...but hang up before it rings.

Intimacy

"One thing I do know about intimacy is that there are certain natural laws which govern the sexual experience of two people, and that these laws cannot be budged any more than gravity can be negotiated with. To feel physically comfortable with someone else's body is not a decision you can make. It has very little to do with how two people think or act or talk or even look. The mysterious magnet is either there, buried somewhere deep behind the sternum, or it is not. When it isn't there (as I have learned in the past, with heartbreaking clarity) you can no more force it to exist than a surgeon can force a patient's body to accept a kidney from the wrong donor. My friend says it all comes down to one simple question: "Do you want your belly pressed against this person's belly forever --or not?"


-Extract from 'Eat,Pray,Love"

Transition

.

Some stories never end. They just change their genre.

.

Too much? Too bad.

.

There's a thing called "too many dreams".

That's where I'm at.

That's why I don't sleep.

.

Sick of love...

She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some people are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out—your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.

....

It's not cigarettes and booze, nor lung cancer or liver failure; it's worse. And there are no disclaimers or statutory warnings attached.


....

She.

Yesterday, I got a call telling me that my friend had passed away. A news casually slipped into the conversation.

She made me smile from inside everytime I laid my eyes on her. Last time I met her, she jumped with joy. She was happy then, I was happy for her.

But 3 days later...I grieve her. I pray that she and the seven others get peace wherever they are....She, the one with serene eyes and childlike soul.